Amazing Zippered Woman

Waiting Games

Recently I was reflecting on the days and months of the ”waiting game” leading up to my heart transplant. When I was feeling good, I would make mental lists of all the wonderful things a new heart would allow me to experience. On the bad days, I was convinced I wouldn’t live long enough to receive a new heart. I would cry about every thing I would be missing when I died - Patrick graduating from college, watching Scott and Henry as they launch successful careers, sharing with Katie our mutual love of teaching “special” kids, witnessing Meghann’s climb to the top of her profession, traveling to exotic places with Tom and, at the top of the list, GRANDCHILDREN.  

Meghann and Scott are adding a new dimension to the happy ending of my heart story. They are providing us with our first grand baby. Roscoe Roberts will be making his initial appearance in early December. I want to share some of his first photos with you.

Thanks to the miracle of 4D ultrasound technology, we can get a look at the little guy right now while he’s still living the good life in his mama’s tummy - and what a big tummy it is.

Meghann has always been, shall we say, a bit high-maintenance. Katie and I used to laugh behind her back and say things like, “When Meghann has a baby, she’ll probably be in intensive care for the whole nine months. WOW, WERE WE EVER WRONG. You have never seen such a casual pregnant lady. She has totally taken the whole experience in stride. She’s happy and healthy and seems to truly be enjoying this magical time. Scott would be wise to consider having many, many children. I also have to mention that she is absolutely gorgeous. 

Thank you Perpetua for allowing me to participate in yet another “waiting game” - one of life’s happiest.  

Another Birthday Salute

James Gregory Johnson is …..

….. a senior in high school in this picture.

….. hoping no one notices how wide his tie is.

….. very concerned about his shiny nose.

….. thinking he probably should have washed his hair.

….. absolutely certain that he is much better looking than his older brother, John.

….. tender-hearted and has an amazing rapport with all God’s creatures.

….. one of the most personable people I have ever known.

….. a very successful salesman who could sell snowballs to Eskimos.

….. a great communicator who has the ability to make everyone feel respected and important.

….. in possession of an amazing sense of humor.

…..  a loving and tender husband and father to wonderful Linda and  talented Parker.

…..  handsome, bald and scrappy.

…..  the guy who did the heavy lifting during Mom and Dad’s last years.

….. and always will be my beloved little brother.

…..  the kind of man who would make our father proud.

Happy Birthday, Jimmy.

I love you. 

The Gift of Another Year

Today marks the second anniversary of my heart transplant. We are  traveling to California to spend Mother’s Day with Tom’s mom. I will spend most of the car-ride thinking about my donor and her family. As I celebrate, they are remembering a very sad time. I pray that my spirit can, in some way, communicate to them how deeply I appreciate their gift to me.  

Preparing to Say Goodbye

For several years Mary Lou has been visiting the PETSMART grooming center every six weeks for a special Spa Day - mani, pedi, hair style, etc. About a year ago, the witch who manages the joint informed me that M.L. was no longer welcome because her shots weren’t current. My vet and I are in total agreement that very old dogs should not be given any immunizations. All their bodily systems get  very fragile as they age, and injecting them with anything foreign isn’t a great idea. I tried to explain this easily-understood concept to the groomer nazi, but was told that NO EXCEPTIONS WOULD BE MADE. After respectfully shouting into the phone, “Kiss my tail - you nazi, groomer witch.” I slammed down the receiver and gently tried to explain to Mary Lou that we would need to find someone else to help her with her beauty needs.

Mary Lou and I started doing extensive research and interviewing. We finally found Tina, who is a mobile groomer. We toured her truck and had her fill out several employment questionnaires. She and Mary Lou seemed to have an instant rapport. So we set up a grooming schedule and shook hands on the deal.

Mary Lou had a Spa Day today and things didn’t go very well. Tina knocked on the door about 10 minutes into the session, and told me that M.L. had just had a seizure. I went out to the truck. The seizure was over, but Mary Lou couldn’t use her hind legs. After about 15 minutes, she recovered enough to continue her bath. When Tina walked M.L. into the house at the end of her Spa Day, she told me that she had discovered two more size-able tumors on my doggie-girl’s body. She said that she thought we should probably start preparing ourselves to say ”Goodbye” to our beloved Mary Lou. I really trust Tina’s knowledge and judgement. She had tears in her eyes as we talked.

Please say a prayer and think peaceful thoughts for our Mary Lou. Pray that her last  days are filled with painless play, lots of love from her humans, and an endless supply of doggie cookies. While you’re at it, say a prayer that we will have the strength and wisdom to know when it’s time to let her go. 

A Salute to the Birthday Boy

John Grewe Johnson II is …..

….. the largest of the two boys in this picture.

….. really sad that the sleeves of his coat are too short.

….. casually pushing on his brother Jim’s foot - trying to make him cry.

….. really embarrassed to appear in a picture with a girl who has such ugly hair.

….. saying to himself, “This is the dumbest story I’ve ever heard.”

….. one of the kindest, most sensitive men I have ever known.

….. the owner of Johnson’s Landscaping and has the greatest work ethic of any man I have ever known.

….. a wonderful husband to beautiful Cyndee.

….. gentle and loving father to Meredith and Morgan.

…..  strong as an ox, bald, and very handsome.

….. always ready to help friends and family.

….. much more appreciated by his sister now that she’s older.

….. a super brother who I am - oh so very proud of.

….. the kind of son my father always wanted.

I love you, John.

Happy Birthday.

Organization

In just a few days I will be celebrating two years of blogging. Can you believe I’ve been thrilling and chilling my readers for two years? This auspicious occasion has really caused me to do some serious thinking about what direction I want to take The Amazing Zippered Woman in the future. As evidenced by the very small number of recent posts, I’m really struggling with some questions about the relevance and social value of my blog. I feel a tremendous responsibility to my readers, and I want to make sure that I’m making a contribution. For the past several weeks, when I sit down at my computer to create a post, I find myself simply staring at the screen - frozen in the headlights. Should I be funny? Should I impart pearls of political wisdom? Should I lecture on the causes dear to my heart? Should I just tell stories about the things that are happening in my world? Should I continue to create a fantasy life for my doggie-daughters? Should I limit my posts to descriptions of what it’s like to have someone else’s heart beating inside my body? My wonderings go on and on. These questions have paralyzed me, and made it very difficult to settle on specific ideas for daily posts.

Last night as I was preparing for bed (putting some of my teeth in a cup, taking my eyes out, and slathering wrinkle cream on every square inch of my body) I said to myself, “Tonight’s the night. Tonight I MUST decide what I’m going to do with this blog. I settled myself into my favorite deep-thinking position - left side, pillow supporting my back, hands clasped close to where Perpetua is beating - and prepared for a long night of deep thought. About 4:30 a.m., after hashing and rehashing all the possible answers to these questions, I finally arrived at a conclusion. MY BLOG CAN PROVIDE A FORUM FOR ANYTHING I WANT TO SHARE. This should really be about ALL the things I want to say, not about what I think others want to read. All of a sudden the fog has lifted and my head is filled with tons of ideas for future posts. This is a new beginning.

BIG SMILE !  

A Call To Arms

For the past three days I’ve been absolutely sickened and extremely saddened by the tragedy that unfolded at Virginia Tech on Monday. I’ve spent hours feeling unimaginable anger and disbelief. I continue to search for answers to the many questions that keep replaying in my mind.

Did the police handle this situation correctly? Could lives have been saved if they had alerted the students after the first shootings? What possible motive caused this kid to randomly kill so many innocent people? What kind of family did he come from? The list of questions goes on and on, but there are no answers.

I’ve listened to most of the interviews with people who knew Cho Seung-Hui. Many discussed his lack of communication, his anger, and his morbid, inappropriate writings. I’ve heard people say that he was weird and scary. Others have said he was dangerous. Teachers expressed concern and recommended that he seek help. Others were so frightened that they involved the police. Even his four suite-mates said that they had very little to do with him.

I DID NOT HEAR ONE  PERSON MENTION HAVING MADE REPEATED ATTEMPTS TO CONNECT WITH THIS YOUNG MAN.

Everyone allowed him to frighten them away. Tom made the comment that it  would have been a different story if a couple guys with “Carry Permits” had been armed. I disagree. I think if a couple of guys had looked in Cho’s eyes and said over and over, and in every way imaginable, ”We really care about you. There isn’t anything we won’t do to help you.” Let’s all use “HUGGING ARMS” when we initiate “A CALL TO ARMS.”       

Top Sirloin or Filet Mignon

I was at the grocery store on Wednesday purchasing the necessary ingredients to prepare my famous beef stroganoff. As I stood in front of the butcher’s counter, I mentally debated the pros and cons of both top sirloin and fillet Mignon. I have always used fillet Mignon, but I’ve found it increasingly difficult emotionally to cut fillet Mignon in tiny pieces and then bury it in a heavy cream sauce. It just seems sac-religious or something. I decided to give top sirloin a try. Please believe that this decision wasn’t made strictly because of the price difference. ($16. 99 per pound as opposed to $7.99 per pound) I just began wondering if I was buying fillet because it is actually better or because it was more impressive.

I don’t want to bore you with the details of my secret recipe, because then I’d have to kill you. But I want to tell you, the sirloin stroganoff, tasted much better than the fillet stroganoff. The tiny pieces of meat might have been just a freckle tougher than usual, but the overall result was heavenly. We had guests for dinner and the stroggie got rave reviews. Not one person said, “This would have been so much better if you had only been willing to spend the extra money on fillet Mignon.”

This story contains a life lesson. The old adage - YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR - isn’t always true. The stray dog you buy from the pound is often a better companion than the pedigreed pouch who costs $1000.00. A friend who buys her clothes at Target is often more supportive and kinder than the friend who won’t be caught dead in anything that doesn’t carry a designer label. The tiny diamond that your husband gave you when he proposed, often means more and has greater sentimental value than the two karat rock he gave you on your 25th anniversary.  Spending more money doesn’t always guarantee better results. You can’t always judge a book by it’s price. Isn’t it amazing when you uncover a life lesson buried inside an everyday task like making stroganoff.

Worthy of Mirror Space

Son-in-law Scott’s mom, Carol shared this with me. I think it’s a very positive  and gentle reminder of some things that are very important. Print it and hang it on your bathroom mirror so that you can read it every morning before you hit the ground running. I should mention that I have taken the liberty of changing  few tiny words to adapt the format for a blog.

1.  There at least two people in this world that would die for you.

2.  At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.

3.  A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone.

4.  Every night someone thinks about you before he or she goes to sleep.

5.  You mean the world to someone.

6.  You are special and unique.

7.  Someone that you don’t even know likes and admires you.

8.  When you make a huge mistake, something good almost always happens as a result.

9.  When you think the world has turned its back on you, you need to take another look.

10. Always remember the compliments that you receive and forget the criticisms.

11. Good friends are like stars ….. You don’t always see them, but you know they are always there.

12. Most people would rather have one rose and a kind word from a friend while they are alive, than a million words and roses when they are gone.

13. (I love this one.) When life hands you lemons, ask for tequila and salt so you can enjoy a shot with a friend.

The BIG GUY Speaks

Sunday would have been a perfect day for this post, but as usual I’m “a day late and a dollar short.” (Or should I say two days late …….)

Many people profess to know exactly what GOD wants to tell humanity - how he wants us to behave, treat others, treat ourselves and just generally how HE expects us to live our lives. Priests, preachers and all imparters of GOD’S word put their own spin on what each “thinks ” GOD wants to say to his children. Many times mere man goes far afield of what is actually said in sacred texts. Because GOD doesn’t readily come back and correct those who quote HIM incorrectly, men of the cloth can play fast and loose with GOD’S words. 

I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve drifted off during long, convoluted homilies during Catholic masses. I think that priests believe that if they say the same thing in ten different ways, the congregation will finally understand. The few times that I have tuned into the religion channel, I have found that this tendency to belabor religious tenents seems to be universal … all religions share this long-windedness.

Sunday’s newspaper contained an article describing a different approach for sharing GOD’S truths. I found it both refreshing and surely better than the bombastic harangues found in most churches. GODSPEAKS billboards have come to Phoenix. These short and sweet messages portray the ALMIGHTY as a GOD of few words. The simple statements are shown against a totally black background, and GOD is given written credit for each. The whole campaign has been financed by an anonymous believer who lives in Georgia. The whole point of the billboards is to provide tiny bits of theology and food for thought. These restatements of theology are filled with wit, irony and double meanings.

“I love you …Te amo.”

“As my apprentice, you’re never fired.”

“The real Supreme Court meets up here.”

“Need a marriage counselor? I’m available.”

“If you must curse, use your own name.”

“All I know … is everything.”

“Loved the wedding, invite me to the marriage.”

“Keep using my name in vain, I’ll make rush hour longer.”

“My way is the highway.”

“We need to talk.”

“Let’s meet at MY house Sunday, before the game.”

“You think it’s hot here?”

I think these billboards are a terrific way to remind all of us of  GOD’S expectations. If you happen to pass one during your travels, pause, open your heart, and think about what the message really means.