February 27, 2009 - Posted by amazingzipperedwoman- 2 Comments
The following should not be read by ultra-sensitive individuals or those who over-react to emotional situations. I can almost guarantee that your eyes will fill with tears and you shall most assuredly fall to the floor in a quivering heap - completely overwhelmed by the enormity of your feelings.
For well over a year, Katie has been a frequent contributor to a website called “The Nest.com.” During the past six months or so, she has become cyber-friends with a young woman named Michelle Millbrae. It has constantly amazed Katie that she and her friend have so much in common. They are close in age, both thinking of buying a house in the Bay Area, and both attended school in Tucson. Almost on a daily basis, Katie has shared with Henry all the details of her new friendship. Finally, about a month ago, she decided to take the next step and invite Michelle to have lunch. The invitation was issued, but there has been no response. Michelle hasn’t mentioned any unusual circumstances on “The Nest” so Katie assumed that Michelle just didn’t want a face-to-face meeting.
During our visit in San Bruno last weekend, we had occasion to take a break from our toil and sit down in the living room for a cocktail and some conversation. Katie was checking the latest activity on ”The Nest” and casually asked Henry if he thought she should invite Michelle to have lunch one more time. I missed Henry’s response. I vaguely remember him mumbling something, but what happened next still astonishes me. The entire room erupted in pandemonium. Pillows were violently tossed. A lamp was knocked over. Drinks were spilled and glasses broken. The dogs were barking and yelping. Katie was screaming and ranting, with her face so red I feared she was on the verge of a stroke. Meghann and I just sat there. I kept saying, “What the hell is happening?” In the midst of all this craziness, Henry just sat in his chair laughing. Finally, Katie calmed down enough to sputter, “HENRY IS MICHELLE MILLBRAE.” Apparently, for over six months, my son-in-law had been communicating with Katie in the person of this Millbrae character. I don’t know if she was so upset because she was remembering tidbits of confidential girl-talk they had shared, or if her concern was that Henry might begin cross-dressing.
Was I right? Did your eyes fill with tears? Did you fall on the floor laughing?
February 24, 2009 - Posted by amazingzipperedwoman- 3 Comments
I spent most of yesterday getting my act together after spending five days in the bay area with my girls - and Henry and Roscoe. I arrived on Wednesday afternoon and we hit the ground running in preparation for ”Operation Nursery Decor.” Meghann and Roscoe joined the party on Thursday afternoon.
It takes Roscoe about 1 second to tug my heartstrings. In this picture he is enjoying two cheeks full of french fries.
On Friday afternoon we were able to have a short visit with close friends, Brian and Bev Morse. It was great to see them. I’m looking forward to seeing them again in Phoenix at the end of March.
On Saturday afternoon we attended a baby shower hosted by Diana, Henry’s sister. It was a wonderful party. We were able to spend time with Bev and Sabrina, Henry’s mom and sister; and also Tom’s sister Helen and our nieces, Johanna and Thea. It was great to see and hug all of them.
Every other spare minute, we spent organizing and decorating Eloise’s nursery. I want to take you on a quick tour. The ideas are Katie’s. Meghann, Henry, and I just did the heavy lifting.
Katie belongs to some bizarre religious cult that doesn’t believe in keeping clothes in dresser drawers. These corner shelves, canvas boxes and hanging cubby store all of Weezy’s clothes, socks, shoes, and all 4,850 bibs. It’s really a cute solution, although I must admit I argued for more conventional storage.
As we continue around the room, please notice the lamp. We couldn’t believe that we were able to find a toile lampshade that matches the bedding.
This is the brand new rocker that the frugal twins (Katie and Henry) were able to find on Craig’s List. Also, the cupboard serves as a closet for all those adorable dresses. The closet in this room was turned into a small bathroom.
Above Weezy’s crib are silhouettes of my doggie grandchildren. There will eventually be four pictures - two each of Darby and Tess.
Once again - the beautiful toy chest. Katie even found a wastebasket that matches. When Mervyn’s closed, the kids found this rug - also a great deal. I love it because it ties the walls into the rest of the room. K and H opted not to paint because the house is a rental, and I for one am glad they didn’t. I think the color is great with the red and black scheme.
Katie found this dresser on the curb. After a paint job and antique glass knobs - VOILA - a changing table for our little princess.
Katie did an amazing job planning the art for her child’s room. These are prints of actual pages from the children’s book titled, ELOISE. Katie carefully added the red highlights. There are four of these pictures in the room.
When you walk into this gorgeous nursery, you can just sense an aura of love. Eloise Johnson is a very lucky little girl indeed. Her Mom and Dad have poured love, laughter and adoring expectation into this little nest for their baby girl.
February 18, 2009 - Posted by amazingzipperedwoman- 2 Comments
Sunday morning, after our usual coffee and newspaper routine, Tom stood up and announced that he thought he might clean the garage. My heart nearly stopped and panic set in. First, I was very frightened that he had some horrible illness or had sustained a severe head injury, either of which had manifested in strange bizarre behavior. Secondly, I feared that this garage cleaning episode would be just like all those other episodes in the past. Tom would move piles and piles and piles and piles of stuff into the house while announcing, “These things all belong in the house. Can you find a place for them?” To which I always answer, “Hell no, I can’t find a place for them. That’s why they’re in the garage.” This time I managed to hold my tongue and act supportive. I hope when you read that last line, you thought to yourself something along the lines of,
“Wow, that Shanlee is a wonderful, supportive wife.” If you failed to do this, I shall pause for you to do so now….
Anyway, he spent two full days on the project and made wonderful progress. He did make several trips into the house, but these trips were usually just to show me some treasure that he had discovered under the rubble. We had great fun reminiscing. I want to share with my dear readers some of the artifacts he managed to unearth.
These china dolls were in my bedroom when I was growing up.
I’m going to give one to Eloise.
Can you guess who did this handprint?
This beautiful piece of jewelry belongs to Katie.
I don’t know how she has been able to live without it.
The picture doesn’t do it justice. The fish is TEN INCHES LONG.
Katie has such a sense of style.
This picture was taken 100 years ago. You can tell that I
spent most of my prep time on Katie’s hair. Meghann
and I both look like fuzz-booms.
And now … the finale. We both look like we’ve been sucking on lemons.
Please notice that I haven’t changed one bit, but Tom has really aged.
You are all invited to come over and view our new garage space. But hurry, Tom can fill a garage in less than a day. I know all the empty shelves are being viewed as great places for new acquisitions.
February 16, 2009 - Posted by amazingzipperedwoman- 3 Comments
In the days leading up to PRESIDENT’S DAY, several of the online sites that I regularly visit have been posting tidbits of information about all of our presidents - both alive and dead. One president had wooden false teeth, one became deathly ill from eating undercooked squirrel and one had three mistresses who took turns sneaking out the back door of the White House. Also the incredible media coverage of both Obama’s campaign and election as well as his first few weeks in office, have created sort of a frenzy as Americans hunger to know more about all aspects of the highest office in our land. On Saturday, as a little test, I decided to see how many of the president’s names I could remember. I got pencil and paper and began trying to remember the names of all these dudes. I’m sorry to report that I failed miserably. Then on Sunday, I stumbled upon this YouTube video. It was too late to help me pass the test, but I decided to share it because I think it’s very well done.
I also would like to introduce you to the 51st president of the United States.
Roscoe William Roberts
During our interview, Mr. Roberts assured me that his campaign platform will include government-funded dental care for all Americans. You must admit - HE HAS A WINNING SMILE !!
February 12, 2009 - Posted by amazingzipperedwoman- 4 Comments
It recently dawned on me that I have never formally announced a huge event that will be happening in our family very soon. Every child deserves a formal announcement. So … drum roll … Katie and Henry will be presenting us with our second grandchild sometime in March. Katie will do the presenting and Henry’s in charge of keeping her pulled together and docile An early ultrasound revealed that the baby is a girl. The proud parents have decided to name her ”Eloise.” We think they have chosen a beautiful name.
Eloise’s first Glamour Shot.
Auntie Bun can’t wait to give Eloise a real hug.
Tom and I have really enjoyed watching Katie and Henry interacting with Roscoe. I think they are both natural parents. Katie is just so comfortable with all aspects of child care. She has also accomplished amazing things with the autistic children she teaches. It is a joy to watch Henry with Roscoe. On one occasion he spent over an hour teaching Roscoe to go up and down stairs safely. His gentleness and patience will make him a wonderful daddy.
In addition to being one of the two greatest chemists in the World, (Scott is the other) Henry has become an accomplished woodworker. He has made many beautiful pieces of furniture. He approaches his creations the same way he approaches all areas of his life - combining a quiet determination with a strong desire for excellence.
This is the toy chest Henry recently finished for his daughter. It is absolutely gorgeous. Please notice the tiny UGG boots that are sitting on top. Henry bought these for Eloise. Do you think she’ll be spoiled? Also, did you see that cute little orange-headed doll? Would you believe that Katie played with this when she was a tiny girl. Maybe Tom will realize that all those things I saved will become beloved treasures for our grandchildren. Anyway, I think Eloise is a very lucky little girl, and I can’t wait to hold her and cover her with Movy kisses.
February 10, 2009 - Posted by amazingzipperedwoman- 2 Comments
Meghann, Scott and Roscoe spent last weekend in the Thousand Oaks area searching for a new home. In March Scott will be starting a job at Amgen. At last, after years of hard work and tireless dedication to his dream, the final stage of his education is almost over. This whole accomplishment is even more special when you consider that Amgen has been Scott’s goal since he first became interested in chemistry and pharmaceutical developement. Yesterday he gave the final talk that will complete his Post-Doc at UC Irvine.
Both Scott and Meghann deserve our congratulations. They have worked very hard and given up a lot to complete this journey. I think they are both really looking forward to the move - AND A LARGER LIVING SPACE. They have spent the last years crammed into a very nice, but very small apartment. They are ready for a real home and Roscoe is certainly ready for his very own yard.
New digs for the Roberts family.
It’s a done deal. The house is about 2200 square feet and has a great back yard and patio. There are three bedrooms and 21/2 bathrooms. The master bedroom has an attached sitting room that will be perfect for Meghann’s office. And the real bonus - a gardener is included. The big garage will be a great place for Scott to set up his drums. There’s even room for Movy to visit once in a while. There are three parks within walking distance. The realtor who negotiated the deal will make a great new friend for Meghann and she really knows the area. All in all, this move should be a dream come true.
February 6, 2009 - Posted by amazingzipperedwoman- 1 Comment
This saga begins over thirty years ago in a dentist’s chair in Glendale, Arizona. I (a very young, thin AZW) sat open-mouthed while Dr. M. pounded on my right, bottom, back molar with a rubber mallet - yes, a damn mallet. He explained that the pounding was necessary to ”seat” my new crown. I didn’t want this crown seated in my mouth like a diner in a restaurant. I wanted it glued to my tooth - or should I say what was left of my tooth. Dr. M. had spent over an hour the week before grinding and blasting my tooth until only a stump remained. I can remember him saying, “I sure hope there’s enough tooth left to “seat the crown.” I agonized over whether or not to say something like, “If your worried, why the hell did you just finish reducing this tooth to a mere shadow of it’s former glory. Anyway, I left the office hurting and wondering how I would pay the $265.00 he charged me. (I ended up with a payment plan - $25.00 each month.)
For the next 15 or so years, my tooth (I named it Queenie) lived a very enjoyable tooth life. She loved her daily flossing - just like a good back scratch. She wasn’t crazy about her swims in Listerine, but tolerated it twice each day. Then, one morning I awakened to the most horrendous clanging pain imaginable. I was convinced I was having some kind of life ending situation. When I looked in the mirror and a woman with a grotesquely distorted face stared back, I knew a root canal was in my future.
The procedure went well … except Dr. G. (an endodontist) was unable to access one canal. Did this guy go to dental school or not? After spending two hours in my mouth with a jackhammer and chain saw, I just couldn’t understand how he could possibly have missed something as big as a canal. Boats drive in canals, for cryin’ out loud. (The past sentence was an attempt at dental humor.) But at least Queenie was able to maintain her composure for several more years.
This past summer I started going to a new dentist. Dr. B. is a wonderful person who radiates kindness. His office staff is also wonderful. They leave no stone unturned in making their patients feel comfortable. After looking at my x rays, Dr. B. suggested that it might be time to have Queenie probed again by a dental prospector who would not abandon his quest until the ghostly canal could be found. Apparently there was a shadow under Queenie’s root that he found troubling.
At this point I made a near fatal error. I chose to go back to the office of the endodontist who first sailed upon Queenie’s canals all those years ago. BIG MISTAKE !!! I drew the new guy in the office. At first I felt great about my decision, but my euphoria soon changed to despondency. After 672 shots of Novocaine, 908,328 stitches, and chunks of tooth and brain tissue flying every where, he announced that he had indeed opened the elusive canal and removed the demons that resided there. This was just the beginning. Three infections, and millions of antibiotics later, I headed back to kind Dr. B. I was sure he would tell me it was time that Queenie be allowed to go to her Great Reward in tooth heaven. I was shocked when he gently said that he could save my little buddy, but Queenie would need a new crown.
The outside of Queenie’s old crown.
The repulsive, disgusting inside of Queenie’s old crown.
Dr, B. was wonderful during the removal procedure. He carefully explained each step of the process. And he didn’t even gasp or fall over when noxious gases filled my mouth as the old crown came off. Queenie is now wearing a temporary crown - no jewels. When she is re-crowned with the real deal, perhaps I’ll photograph the ceremony.
February 3, 2009 - Posted by amazingzipperedwoman- 2 Comments
GLENN CAMPBELL
Rhinestone Cowboy
I’ve been walkin’ these streets so long
Singin’ the same old song
I know every crack in these dirty sidewalks of Broadway
Where hustle’s the name of the game
And nice guys get washed away like the snow and the rain
There’s been a load of compromisin’
On the road to my horizon
But I’m gonna be where the lights are shinin’ on me.
Like a rhinestone cowboy
Riding out on a horse in a star-spangled rodeo
Like a rhinestone cowboy
Getting cards and letters from people I don’t even know
And offers comin’ over the phone …
Roscoe Roberts
New Kid In Town
Whinestone Cowboy
I’ve been ridin’ this stroller so long
Goo Gahin’ that same old song
I know every crack in these dirty sidewalks of Irvine
Where Da Da’s the name of the game
Cause Mama’s “No No’s” are a constant refrain
There’s been alot of surprisin’
And many long nights of arisin’
But I’m gonna be where the toys are showered on me.
Like a whinestone cowboy
Riding out on my rocking horse with just a diaper of course
Gettin’ mushy kisses from folks I don’t even know
Some even comin’ over the phone …
February 1, 2009 - Posted by amazingzipperedwoman- 0 Comments
Last week was momentous for several reasons. President Obama kicked butt in Washington, and the Cardinals prepared to beat the Steelers in the Super Bowl. But, as a woman, I think one of the most important things that happened was Obama’s signing into law the bill that makes it illegal not to pay a woman the same amount as her male counterpart. Workplace inequality is finally being addressed by legislation. Lilly Ledbetter, the Alabama woman whose story was the impetus for the bill, stood beside our president as he signed the bill into law. It was an important moment in history for all women. Meghann sent me a wonderful poem the same day, and I want to share it with you. Pamela Redmond Satran says it best.
Pam Satran
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
Enough money within her control to move out
and rent a place of her own,
even if she never wants to or needs to.
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE … Something perfect to wear
if her employer or date of her dreams
wants to see her in an hour.
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
A youth
she’s content to leave behind.
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
A past
juicy enough that she’s looking forward to
retelling it in her old age.
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE … A set of screwdrivers,
a cordless drill,
and a black lace bra.
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE … One friend who always makes her laugh,
and one who lets her cry.
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE … A good piece of furniture,
not previously owned
by anyone else in her family.
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE … Eight matching plates,
wine glasses with stems,
and a recipe for a meal that will make
her guests feel honored.
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
A feeling of control
over her destiny.
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW … How to fall in love
without losing herself.
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW …
How to quit a job,
break up with a lover,
and confront a friend
without ruining the friendship.
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW … When to try harder,
and when to walk away.
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW … That she can’t change the length of her calves,
the width of her hips,
or the nature of her parents.
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW … That her childhood may not have been perfect,
but it’s over.
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW …
What she would or wouldn’t do for love,
or more.
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW … How to live alone,
even if she doesn’t like it.
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW … Whom she can trust,
whom she can’t.
and why she shouldn’t take it personally.
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW … Where to go …
be it to her best friend’s kitchen table,
or a charming Inn in the woods,
when her soul needs soothing.
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW … What she can and can’t accomplish,
in a day, a month, and a year.
You have to agree that this is an incredibly powerful and empowering poem.
Just a quick editorial note: This poem is frequently attributed to Maya Angelou, when in fact it was written by Pam Satran. Ms. Satran has been quoted as saying that she is very flattered that people believe one of her poems could have been written by Angelou. In my opinion her attitude epitomizes graciousness and confidence.
