Okay … Maybe Just a Few Suggestions
It’s becoming increasingly difficult for me to go anywhere without people begging me for financial advice. I guess the shaky economy has caused people to seek “any port in a storm.” I’m sure the assumption is since I sleep with a stockbroker I must have inside information. Before I continue I want to make sure everyone understands that Tom NEVER talks business with me or discusses individual stocks. I am a bit of a financial genius in my own right and have decided to share with my readers some of the investments I will be making in the very near future.
I’ve been researching a trend that I think could have a significant impact on my investment strategy. It appears to me that when two companies merge, their combined stock values rise dramatically. I have searched the online literature and and have developed a list of companies who will soon announce mergers. If you have some extra pennies, you may want to consider taking my advice. Watch for these consolidations in 2009 and then buy, buy, buy.
1. Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W.R. Grace Co. will merge and become: Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.
2. Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers are going to join forces and become: Poly, Warner Cracker.
3. 3M will merge with Goodyear and become: MMMGood.
4. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motor Company, Dofasco and Dakota Mining will combine and the new company will be called: ZipAudiDoDa.
5. FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS and become: FedUp.
6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become: Fairwell Honeychild.
7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are soon expected to announce their new name: Poupon Pants.
8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Woman will operate under the name: Knott NOW.
9. And my personal favorite - Victoria’s Secret and Smith and Wesson will call their new company: Titty/Titty/Bang/Bang.
Now sit back, call your broker and we’ll all get rich together.
