June 24, 2008 - Posted by amazingzipperedwoman- 1 Comment
Johnny-Boy McCain certainly enjoys his “maverick” label, but it is my opinion that he is simply a ”MOTS” candidate. If we look closely at his story, we begin to realize that much of it is a myth. He has been exalted in great part because of his own self-aggrandizement. His “poor prisoner” personna has garnered huge amounts of sympathy and exaltation. But seriously, what kind of guy continually references his own valor for political gain?
His insincere self -promotion makes me nausous. There are thousands upon thousands of war heros and former prisoners of war around the world who never talk about their nightmarish experiences. They remain proud of their service and their sacrifice, but don’t shout about it from any available rooftop.
McPain’s military service may have been commendable, but let’s take a moment to examine his congressional performance. I think we should change his name to “little George.” McCain and Bush both try to present themselves as “down-home” and they both have difficulty stringing together two literate sentences. They are both masterful fearmongers and employ scare tactics to manipulate the American public. They both grossly exaggerate their supposed accomplishments. It’s hard to decide which man is the most dishonest when it comes to political campaigning. And of course, they both LOVE a good war. George plays war games from the safety of the White House while John relives his military career through the sacrifice of our young men and women who have been sent to die in an immoral oil war.
If we look closely, McCain just isn’t that much different than George. He’s just another politician - not by any means special. His constant pandering to The Bush abministration, should be a red flag. He lacks wisdom and integrity - AND HE LOVES WAR. John McCain is not a “maverick.” He’s a “MOTS” … just MORE OF THE SAME.
June 17, 2008 - Posted by amazingzipperedwoman- 0 Comments
Gather round, my friends. I shall help you to seek the truth and the light.
Listen carefully and I will provide you with the benefits of my wisdom.
1. A day without sunshine is like night.
2. 42.7 % of all statistics are made up on the spot.
3. 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
4. Remember - half the people you know are below average.
5. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
6. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
7. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse
gets the cheese in the trap.
8. Support bacteria. They’re the only culture some people have.
9. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a poor memory.
10. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
11. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
12. OK, so what’s the speed of dark?
13. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
14. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
15. Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.
16. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
17. Why do psychics have to ask you your name?
18. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering,
“What the heck happened?”
19. Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people
appear bright until you hear them speak.
20. Most of the world’s best grandmas are named Shanlee.
Roscoe wishes to say thanks to his mentor - Larry, the cable guy.
June 16, 2008 - Posted by amazingzipperedwoman- 0 Comments
Dear Tom,
Some people are just meant to be dads, and you’re one of them. You have this incredible way with kids, and that’s one of the many things I really love about you. You are patient and kind, but you were never afraid to discipline our children and hold them accountable.
You’re understanding and loving, and you always keep your sense of humor. Kids love you, and I don’t blame them. I love you, too. Thank you for being a great father.
Love, Shanlee
Another Super Dad in the making.
Cheers!
June 12, 2008 - Posted by amazingzipperedwoman- 1 Comment
Katie - if you’re tuned in, please click on the “X” immediately and go have a snack. It would be very dangerous for you to read this post. And, as your mother, it is my job to protect you and keep you away from danger. Now … you just do what I told you … NOW!
Good. Now that she’s gone, I can continue. She doesn’t like me to brag, but I want to share her accomplishments with the world. Katie is an absolutely incredible teacher and I can prove it. This article was recently published in the local newspaper where Katie lives:
“Monday, May 12, 2008 was a grand night for a great school. The Linda Mar Educational Center (LMEC) was the recipient of the coveted J. Russell Kent Award for outstanding innovations in education. This award is given out every year by the San Mateo County School Boards Association to schools whose programs are both unique and on the cutting edge of educational research. LMEC is definitely both of those things.
LMEC Special Day Preschool and Kindergarten is a unique special education program for the needs of children in our community ages 3 – 5. This highly collaborative enriched program focuses on the Individualized Education Plans of the students and how best to meet those needs through peer reviewed methodologies to provide education and specialized on-site services. LMEC’s highly qualified teachers work in conjunction with these specialized services to create unique programs that address the students’ needs intensively and holistically while keeping community children within the district.
Katie Johnson, Cecilia Ng, Maridel Rehmet and Meredith Shaffer were recipients as teachers for the program along with Tom Stafford, Program Coordinator and Ann Morton, Special Education Director. Dr. James Lianides, Superintendent, and the entire Pacifica School Board, Karen Ervin, Laurie Frater, Connie Menefee, Mike O’Neill, and Joan Weideman also joined the recipients.
The J. Russell Kent Award is a prestigious honor. The entire team at LMEC are proud and grateful to our community for embracing innovations in education that have allowed our programs to grow in service to our children throughout Pacifica.
Submitted by Tom Stafford, Program Coordinator, LMEC”
Good special education teachers are not created in college classrooms. These dedicated individuals are born with a ”GIFT.” Katie is currently finishing her second year at Linda Mar. She has a cross- category preschool classroom, but most of her students are on the Autism Spectrum. You should see her in action. I was fortunate enough to spend a whole day in her classroom last year. What an experience. I spent half the time teary-eyed and amazed just watching this gifted young lady change the lives of, as she calls them, “her stinkys.” I spent the rest of the time working my fanny off. Talk about a high-energy job. I don’t know how she does it. I’ve always felt that I was a darn good teacher, but my kid puts me to shame.
June 9, 2008 - Posted by amazingzipperedwoman- 2 Comments
I read an article last week about simple little things every American can do to be more “GREEN.” Why not. I can attempt to do these few little things for the environment. Might even reduce my “carbon footprint” - whatever the heck that is.
#1: Composting. An interesting concept. Since I didn’t have a clue what composting entailed - other than throwing your coffee grounds out the window - I hit the public library for a “How To” book. Not exactly the most exciting book I’ve ever read, but I managed to plow through it anyway. It took me a couple of days to start my “sight.” The book never once referred to a composting area as a pile and I will tell you why. “Pile” makes one instinctively think of POOP, and that’s pretty much what I have; A GREAT BIG PILE OF POOPISH CRUD. It reeks, the neighbors are complaining and when I put my homemade compost on plants, they immediately curl up and die. My footprint grows …
#2: Wasting water. The article went into great detail about how much water Americans waste every day just warming up their shower water before they climb in. I’m guilty. The authors suggest placing a large tub under the shower head to catch the water you waste during the warming up process. What they don’t tell you is that there is no way someone my size can hoist this flippin’ tub out of the shower. When was the last time you showered while straddling a tub the size of Lake Erie ? I didn’t know my legs could spread that far apart. The next morning I abandoned the tub idea and decided to just leap into the shower the moment I turned it on. Yowsers!!! My heart nearly stopped. …and grows …
#3: Did you know that paper towels were created by the devil himself? We can live without paper towels. Right? It might interest you to know that the Big Irishman is a certified P. T. addict. During an average dinner prep, he has been known to use over 600 paper towels. I knew it would be difficult to lead him down the path to a paper towel – free life. But try I did. I installed a basket and stack of neatly folded rags on the counter in the kitchen. I explained the new simple procedure to him and off we marched into a greener life. Use a rag, place it in the basket. Shanlee launders rags and returns them to stack on counter. What could be simpler? Do you know how long it takes a man to mess up a stack of rags and spread them on every available inch of kitchen counter space? About 1.6 seconds. The final straw was when I walked in and found the CLEAN RAGS in the basket and the dirty rags in the dog’s bed. I won’t even describe the smell that a basket full of food and dirt-filled rags can create in a very short time. …to an unimaginable size.
I’ve never looked good in green and I’ve decided to just write a big fat check to some environmental group. (Once the HAZMAT crew is done and we can move back into the house.)
June 8, 2008 - Posted by amazingzipperedwoman- 1 Comment
Several members of Mary Lou’s fan club have recently emailed me to check on the status of Her Royal Highness. I guess I should be providing daily reports on the health and welfare of a dog who is older than dirt.
Well …. I’m happy to say that she is cruising, albeit at a very slow speed, along the highway of life. Her days are filled with leisurely walks back and forth to the biscuit jar, sun baths and poop-eating expeditions.
I have been treating M.L. to a spa day every two or three months. She’s wild for manicures, pedicures, fluff and buffs – and also a couple of unmentionable beauty procedures. At the beginning of April, I noticed a rather horrible odor emanating from the old girl, but concluded that it was probably an intestinal issue. After all, if a major component of your diet is poopaloopies, you must expect a certain amount of noxious effluvium. During the next several days, the smell DID NOT dissipate. I started to think that maybe she was rotting, so I decided to deviate from the schedule and treat my sweetie to a bonus spa day, about four weeks early.
About thirty minutes after M.L. had been hoisted into the Spa Van, Tina Spa-lady knocked on the door and quietly announced, “We have a problem. Mary Lou has apparently stopped grooming herself. Her skin is covered with small colonies of smelly amoebas and there are snarls in her undercoat the size of oranges. Our only choice is to shave her.” When I recovered from the shock of hearing that my daughter had such horrendous personal hygiene, I hesitantly agreed.
When M. L. was escorted back into the house hours later, I was horrified. Have you ever seen a Polish sausage covered with yellow fuzz? She looked like something that had been shoved to the back of the frig. and forgotten about. But I must say there was a spring in her step and a twinkle in her eye. She seemed to really like her new style. (She probably could breathe deeply, without gagging, for the first time in months.)
Before I let her cruise the neighborhood to show her friends her new look, I gave her a very stern lecture. “I don’t want to see you nose stuck in some cheesy paperback when you should be bathing. No more cookies unless you promise to bathe every day. AND FOR GOD’S SAKE – STOP EATING POOP.” Upon hearing my last admonition, she batted her eyes, flipped her ears and replied, “Mom, it’s good for my coat. Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.”
