This Sucks
When I signed on to be a blogger, I promised myself that I would share not only the good, but also the bad and the ugly. Well, something so horrendous has happened that I have spent most of the morning deciding whether or not to keep this promise. Finally, literary honesty has dictated my decision. It is with dread and trepidation that I share the following.
TUESDAY MORNING I AWAKENED WITH MY THUMB IN MY MOUTH. Can you even believe it? I am positively mortified. My first thoughts were, “I wonder if Tom saw me? Was I actually sucking my thumb or did it just inadvertently find its way into my mouth? Is this the beginning of a second childhood? Will wetting the bed be next?”
All day Tuesday I searched my inner self looking for an explanation. I consequently developed several possible theories ….
1. Perpetua is actually younger than we originally thought.
2. I’m sorry to say that one of our family’s “dirty little secrets” is that Esther enjoys a nice finger- suck every once in a while. My research has uncovered the fact that this is frequently a characteristic of her breed. If there is no finger available, she sucks on her back foot. How precious. I’m sure that you have all read about people taking on the traits of their pets. Could this be why I find myself in this situation? If I start whining at the door to go outside - mystery solved.
3. I do have a small hang-nail on the thumb that appeared in my mouth. Maybe this was just an attempt to soothe my boo boo. (Is anyone worried that I just said “boo boo?”)
4. The current administration (I can’t even say his name after hearing last night’s speech) has screwed up this country so badly that my elevated sense of insecurity has mandated a return to infancy.
5. Probably the most reasonable explanation for my odd behavior is the “power of suggestion.” On Monday, as I was sitting at my desk working on quarterly reports for Tom’s company, I turned on the TV just to provide background noise. Dr. Phil was discussing strange New Year’s resolutions. (Even if tortured, I will never admit to willingly watching Dr. Phil.) One of his guests, at age 23, has vowed to stop sucking her thumb before her wedding in June. I’m sure this dialog planted a seed in my mind, and my subconscious took over from there.
Tom and I are headed to Sedona tomorrow for a romantic getaway. I certainly hope I don’t experience a repeat of this thumb thing. I somehow don’t think he would find it very alluring. Wish me luck.
Pam Says:
MIss Shanlee,
Having been a thumbsucker in my formative years, birth to 8 years old, I can offer the following tips.
A green cardigan sweater (or color of choice)shrugged over the sucking side of your head (depends on which hand you prefer), serves well as camoflage. (Technique adopted in Kindergarten.) Don’t worry about getting “buck teeth”, I am the only kid in our family who did not need orthodontia. When the thumb gets sort of “pruney” from extended dampness, claim you were doing dishes by hand. If you really have the habit, and need to stop, tie a plastic bag on your hand overnight. It is a nasty, clammy experience, and worked for me. I did wind up very conflicted towards my Dad, who put the bag on my fist, so have someone do it that you already don’t like.
Just trying to help, have a fabulous time in Sedona, with a great big hug from both of us!
Your Pammy
YouKnowWho Says:
[QUOTE]2. I’m sorry to say that one of our family’s “dirty little secrets” is that Esther enjoys a nice finger- suck every once in a while. My research has uncovered the fact that this is frequently a characteristic of her breed. If there is no finger available, she sucks on her back foot. How precious. I’m sure that you have all read about people taking on the traits of their pets. Could this be why I find myself in this situation? If I start whining at the door to go outside - mystery solved.[/QUOTE]
IF the thumb sucking is coming from the habits of Ester, you may want to be aware of other tendencies like licking certain places of your own anatomy and smelling those same places as well.
Jimmy J. Says:
I agree with YouKnowWho. Without immediate and intensive treatment, it’s only a matter of time before you are barking at the mail man and pooping outdoors.