Amazing Zippered Woman

It Was a Very Good Year

The house is quiet. Everyone else is still asleep. Sometimes it’s kinda nice to be the only one awake in an early morning house.

I was just sitting here thinking about the past year - my first full calendar year with Perpetua. WHAT A RIDE! I still spend time every day playing the “what if” game. Without the loving generosity of my donor family, I would have  been just an observer of the past year’s  happenings. Now that I know more about my donor, she has taken on a persona and I wonder all the time about her life. Are there children missing her? Is her family healing from the tragedy of her death? But most of all, I wonder if there are other things I can do or should be doing to honor her memory.

Many of my thoughts are focused on Patrick as he graduates from college in May and begins living “an adult life.” This is a kid who has had his share of struggles, but has still managed to become a wonderful man. I hope and pray that my gentle son will be rewarded for all his hard work.

It will be fun to watch Meghann and Katie grow into their marriages. As I observe them interacting with their husbands, I see that they are still immersed in the wildly romantic and passionate first stages of building a life together. I hope that we have given them the right tools to build strong “forever” relationships.

During the next year I will continue to wrestle with my demons and work hard to increase the power of the angel within me. Thanks for holding my hand and walking with me through the last year.

T’was The Season

AND A GOOD TIME WAS HAD BY ALL !!!!  Now for some highlights…

First a diet update. Don’t ask. My jaws hurt from chewing, and when I get tired of chewing, I simply swallow whole all sorts of calorie-rich, fat-loaded bites. There is a choking risk involved in this food intake system, but what better way is there to pack as many food opportunities as possible into a single day. Look for my picture on the cover of the January issue of Weight Watcher’s Magazine. The caption reads, “The Mayo Clinic reports on a new record in ’single-day’ weight gain. Read all about how this otherwise stable lady managed to gain 27.6 pounds in a one-day period.” At last, I’m a star and getting the recognition I so richly deserve.

Our Christmas was wonderful. Meghann and Scott were here from Utah along with Nardo, the cussing parrot and Ellie, the world’s most persnickety cat. We also had special guests from Ojai, California - Carol and Mike. They are wonderful people and we all agreed it was great that Megs and Scott were able to celebrate their first married Christmas with both sets of parents. My kids gave me a TiVo system. Now I don’t have to go upstairs to watch all my favorite programs. I can now stay downstairs with Tom while he watches stupid, icky, violent, blood-drenched, psycho-sicko shows and at the same time TiVo my shows. My marriage has been saved! I will spend all my daytime hours watching my recorded faves. If I plan very carefully, I will only need to leave my recliner to refill my plate with heaping mounds of delicious delicacies. What a dream life. Now I can be by Tom’s side and  hurl insults that make fun of all tight-ass conservatives while he watches FOX news.

Katie, Henry and the beautiful Diana arrived yesterday to help us bring in the New Year. We opened gifts last night. Meghann and Scott gave Katie a Karaoke machine. BIG MISTAKE. We all fell asleep last night to Katie belting out “My Girl.” She was still at it this morning. I was able to sell several pairs of my earplugs in the middle of the night. I made enough to pay off all my credit cards. It’s amazing how much money desperate, tired people are willing to spend just to make the pain go away.

I should also mention that my little boy is home from college and is still the apple of his mother’s eye - even when he saturates my new 2007 calendar with root beer and gets peanut brittle stuck in the carpet.

As D J Katie would say, “Catch you on the flip side.”

Jammin’ With Judy

Please let me apologize for not posting for a few days. I needed to designate some time for intense holiday preparations. But now I’m back and I have lots to share.

Last Sunday was one of the best days I’ve had in a long, long time. In the old ‘ hood, my next-door neighbor, Judy and I began a tradition seventeen years ago. Every October we order berries from Oregon (blue, straw and black - berries that is.) Then sometime in early December, usually on a Sunday, we make jam and more jam and still more jam. This tradition has become even more important because both our families have moved to different parts of the city and we don’t see each other as often as before. Our “jam day” allows us to catch up and discuss old memories. We raised our babies together and have faced many tough situations hand-in-hand.

This year we decided to change the routine a bit. Actually, friend Donna suggested that it might be a good idea to get the old neighborhood gang together - just ladies. Judy has been dealing with some major sadness for the past several months, so we decided to surprise her and add cocktails, decorating and lunch to the jam making. Donna, Susie, and Sharon joined us at Judy’s beautiful house. We have been the closest of friends for years, and have frequently  discussed the fact that raising our children was indeed a group effort.

When I got Perpetua in Tucson, these women were a huge part of my support system. I worry because there is no way I will ever be able to repay them. On Sunday it was Judy’s turn to be enveloped in our love and tender support. We decorated her house and  enjoyed Bloody Marys while creating a cheery environment. We laughed and cried and offered words of understanding and encouragement. We each listened and talked. We enjoyed a gourmet lunch - complete with a bottle of fine white wine. I even provided entertainment. I showed everyone how I can pull my pants down without unzipping them. My friends were amazed and speechless. Did I mention that we also managed to make copious amounts of berry jam - blue, straw and black. I am so very blessed to have such strong yet gentle friends.  

More Venting

I thought I would share some more comments from “THE VENT” column in our local newspaper.

1.) The VENT says: ”Sen. John Kerry botched a joke and he apologized. Mel Gibson, while intoxicated, said some bad things and he apologized … George W. Bush started a war with false information that cost almost 3ooo (American military) lives to date. America is still waiting for an apology.”

The AZW says: Fat chance. Formulating an apology would require George Bush to have a conscience and the ability to admit he was wrong.

2.) The VENT says: ”I have to agree with House Speaker-elect Nancy Pelosi’s pledge to take impeachment off the table. If Democrats make it their first order of business to institute articles of impeachment, we’ll forever be looked at as the party of payback.”

The AZW says: Forget impeachment. Wait until he leaves office and then try him for war crimes.

3.) The VENT says: ”I just read the letter from the leader of Iran to the American people and wondered if we could convince the Iranian people to swap their president for ours if we threw a couple of billion bucks in the deal.”

The AZW says: Although I don”t agree with his mission, the leader of Iran has a much                        better grasp of what is happening in the Middle East than our guy. He presents some very interesting ideas that Mr. Bush would be very wise to study carefully.

4.) The VENT says: ”Two words why President Bush won’t be impeached: President Cheney.”

The AZW says: I agree totally.

5.) The VENT says: ”Why are George W. Bush and his neocon crowd not being held accountable for the promotion of an unnecessary war in Iraq that has claimed thousands of lives and has promoted death and carnage in a country where people wanted to live a simple, peaceful life?”

The AZW says: Many, many Americans are asking the same question as witnessed by the recent election. I read that Bush’s approval rating of his handling of the war is less than 25%.

6.) The VENT says: ”When the man said he would pay to send his son out of the country, (referring to a previous column) he wasn’t being a draft dodger. He just didn’t want his son to die for a lie.”

The AZW says: I would do whatever is necessary to get Patrick out of this country if the draft is reinstated to supply soldiers for Bush’s immoral oil war. 

Mount Kitchenuvius

This may be my last post. I’m fairly certain - I must interrupt this post for an important announcement from the Great White Hunter - as opposed to the great pink hunter. Tom went out early this morning for one last attempt at bagging an elk. (I feel very outdoorsy when I say “bagging an elk”) Today is the last day that his permit is good. Well, he just called and HE GOT ONE !!!  He said it is a five pointer (whatever that means.) Now I must come up with 9000 different ways to cook elk. Anyway, as I was saying - I’m fairly certain that the End Times have arrived.

This weekend as I was calmly sitting in my chair reading the paper, I heard loud cracking sounds coming from the kitchen area. As it was quite windy, I concluded that probably a chair had blown over in the yard. About twenty minutes later, I heard the noises again. This time Esther ran into her cage and put her hands (my dogs don’t have paws) over her ears. Mary Lou, my trusty sidekick, and I decided to investigate. As we entered the kitchen area, the floor began to move, Perpetua skipped a beat, actually several beats, as we tried to decide whether or not we should immediately go into earthquake mode.

When I regained my composure, I noticed that a huge bulging lump had appeared in the tile on the floor. About 8 tiles had actually come loose and were pushed up on one side to form sort of a tent-like mound. I promptly called the Big Irishman - thinking it would be very poignant if I was speaking with him as I got sucked in to the giant sink hole that was previously my kitchen. He didn’t seem interested in a long conversation, so I called Donna. She came right over and we both just kinda stood there staring at this amazing bump. Tom and Larry, Donna’s husband, removed some of the tipped tiles later in the evening. There was no sign of anything bizarre going on under the tile.

Yesterday I called our builder’s customer service rep. and described what had happened. He listened, asked several questions, and then told me to email him a service request with at least 2 phone numbers where I could be reached. Apparently he didn’t understand that I was on the verge of being sucked into the bowels of the earth. (I’ve always wanted to say “bowels of the earth,” but have never had the opportunity.) At the end of our conversation, he mentioned something about a structural engineer. BE STILL MY HEART. Dollar signs began flashing before my eyes.

I just hope I’m not using something electrical when our house slides into the pool. Or worse, I pray that we don’t interrupt an intimate moment when the kitchen careens down the hill and into the bedroom of the people below us.

A Welcome With Strings Attached

Something has been bothering me for a long time. For several weeks I have been debating whether or not to discuss it with you. I’ve finally decided to be open about my concerns and possibly get a dialogue going.

First some background. I have several friends who are divorced Catholics. I should explain that the doctrine of the Catholic Church does not allow divorced members who have remarried to share in the Eucharist (communion.) The only way around this rule is to obtain an annulment which is a very expensive, complicated process. At least two of my friends left abusive, dangerous marriages and went on to marry terrific people. Children were involved in both situations. Wouldn’t God applaud a mother or father who removed their children from harm’s way and later provided said children with a different nurturing and loving parent? This concept has always troubled me.

Now I must share with you my feelings about another injustice being perpetuated by the Catholic Church. I have made no secret of my support of the Gay and Lesbian community. As I have stated in the past - Our Gay and Lesbian brothers and sisters simply have a different way of expressing physical intimacy. Every other aspect of their loving relationships are the same - commitment, emotional needs and etc. Yet the Catholic Church  chooses to exclude them from the Church’s most precious sacrament. The nation’s Roman Catholic bishops recently adopted new guidelines for Gay outreach. (Outreach my butt.)

The statement, “Ministry to Persons with a Homosexual Inclination,” was adopted by a 194 to 37 vote. Within the document is a reminder that anyone who knowingly persists in sinful behavior, such as Gay sex or using artificial birth control should refrain from taking communion. Bishop Arther Serratelli stressed that the tone of the document was “positive, pastoral and welcoming.” Gay Catholic advocacy groups vehemently protested the document. Francisco DeBernardo, director of New Ways Ministry, said the guidelines do not reflect good science, good theology or human reality.” The church is telling a very large group of people that it’s okay to be attracted to someone of the same sex, just don’t act on those feelings - you are welcome to be a part of our club, but you just can’t participate in our club meetings.

Several times, during Masses that I have attended a song titled, “All Are Welcome Here” has been included. I have a real hard time not adding, at the top of my lungs, ”unless you are divorced or Gay.” Most of the basic tenets of this faith are beautiful and spiritual, but changes must be made.

WHY ME

“If you give me a cookie, I’ll let you read me a story.”

(Meghann Brennan, 1984)

I’m trying to recover from a case of the Green Plague. Also I’m dealing with overwhelming feelings of guilt. Meghann had her wisdom teeth extracted on Friday morning, and I had my ticket and was set to go to Salt Lake to help her through this crisis. Actually, I was equally concerned for Scott. He has never had to deal with a full-blown ” sick Meghann” situation. I really didn’t want the marriage to end, before their first anniversary. But alas, it wasn’t meant to be. The plague grabbed me by the throat and spent the weekend kicking me in the head.

I had a lot of time on my hands because the Big Irishman was off in the forest for the weekend. (The elk won this round.) Being focused on the fact that Meghann needed me and I wasn’t there, started me thinking about her as a child. Unlike Katie who just wanted to be left alone when she was sick, Meghann used illness to pretty much turn the whole house and family upside down. Once we determined that school was out of the question, she would direct as I made a bed on the couch - using a special quilt and every available pillow in the neighborhood. She then ordered that a T.V. tray be placed within easy reach. On this tray she had me arrange several books, dolls, and craft activities just in case she felt up to a little play time later in the day. Did I mention that she also had to have the T.V. remote and a small bell with which to summon me if I by chance needed to use the bathroom or left her for any reason.

The little cutie would then present me with a list of items she immediately needed from the grocery - jello, pudding, chocolate milk and, of course, cookies - several different kinds of cookies. She always instructed me to make this grocery store run before Tom left for work. She wanted a parent present in case the death gurgle came upon her suddenly. She actually said “death gurgle” at the age of five. She spent the morning hours wailing, “Why Me” over and over and over, until I almost considered pillow therapy. About noon she would start bugging me to run over to the school and request a work packet from the teacher. She didn’t want to fall behind. I ask you, how much work can a 5 year old miss in one morning? After lunch we had several more hours of ”Why Me.” She would repeatedly ask me to call Tom and the grandparents to tell them how sick she was. Every time I walked by her, she would demand that I feel her head for signs of increased fever. And while I was standing there, she thought a back rub would really help.

I’m sure you can all understand why Meghann rarely missed two consecutive days of school. My rule became - If her temperature was under 118 degrees, she got on that bus. Sometimes, if she dosed off, I hid in my bedroom for a little nip of “Mommy Medicine.” 

Daddy’s Gone A Hunting

Several weeks ago Tom ran into the house, waving a piece of paper. He seemed very excited, almost manic. I was sure that we had received a summons to appear in court, or possibly a foreclosure notice on our house. I was mentally making a list of things I would need to pack so that we could comfortably live in our car, when he finally calmed down enough to shout, “I got drawn for elk.” For those who don’t understand the ins-and-outs of BIG GAME HUNTING, I shall explain. In Arizona, a hunter must apply for and receive a permit to hunt each type of animal. Elk permits are limited, and hunters are only drawn once every several years. An elk permit for a man is the equivalent of an invitation to dine with George Clooney for a woman. THIS IS A BIG DEAL. I have really enjoyed witnessing the preparation for THE HUNT. This process takes many, many months.

Shortly after Tom got the exciting news, the first of many meetings was quickly organized. The purpose of this first meeting was to establish a schedule for future meetings. The proposed meeting schedule was then emailed to all hunters in “The Brennan Party.” Then a second meeting was called to propose changes to the original schedule of planning meetings. Finally, the meeting dates were finalized and the hunters moved on to ”list making.” (These guys give  new meaning to list making.)

We have lists of warm weather clothes, cool weather clothes, and in-between weather clothes. After each item of clothing there is a small number which indicates the importance of each item. Did I mention that 2 meetings were scheduled to develop this rating system. We also had several WBW meetings - Who Brings What. Trust in your fellow man isn’t a huge component of this group. I know for a fact, from discussions with other wives, that each man independently decided to take everything on the WTW list. No one wanted to depend on the other guy for such important items as a bottle of Jack Daniels, cards, poker chips, and a skinning knife.

Then there were the menu meetings. Yikes. Each guy was responsible for a day’s food. Lists of food allergies and preferences were modified and edited a hundred times. Tom personally took enough food to feed the whole northeast section of the state until after Christmas. The last week has been a flurry of cooking and shopping …. and meetings. Also late-night phone calls have been an everyday occurrence.

When Tom pulled out of the drive-way (the first time) the back bumper barely cleared the curb. He had to come back twice -  once for those fancy toothpicks to hold martini olives and the second time for his lucky hat. I sure hope none of the guys make fun of his Pound Puppy pillow case.